South Asian seniors facing loneliness and alienation in a foreign land

South Asian seniors facing lonelinessand alienation in a foreign land Canada with a population of approximately thirty five million has at least five million seniors. By the year 2041 one inevery four will be over sixty five. South Asians,being the largestvisible minority group today , surpassing even the Chinese, are poised to haveproportionally higher number of seniors. Keeping this in mind the government,along with other social agencies, is trying to address this issue and the problems arising from an aging population. South Asian seniors are a breedapart.They are more dependant on their children and face several barriersassociated with first generation immigrants like language,racism,cultural andsocial differences.Many families like the idea of having theirparents or in laws’ at home to be with their children and let’sface it with no other help here who would not like mom’s cooking? It isnot uncommon to see many of our desi seniors especially male,hanging out inmalls and community centres . The female counterparts rarely hangout together inthe malls and prefer to stay home . The problem of aged parents being left alone at home while people work definitely exists. Not a day goes by when onedoes not hear any so called ‘vichaar’(thoughts) or‘upayey’(solution) on this over the air on desi talk shows .Evenethnic news papers and television channels are abuzz with these social dilemmas.These avenues are being used to vent out frustrations by people at the socialagencies or NGOs , funded by the government, that help such seniors.Surely theseproblems exist for all seniors, but the South Asians and a few other groups, donot believe in leaving their parents in old age or retirement homes where most seniors live.Compounding this problem is the language barrier thatexists, making it impossible for our seniors to communicate or enjoy life liketheir mainstream counterparts. Children and/or grandkids at home are gluedto their shows and computers or are busy chatting on various social networkswith their friends ,leaving grandparents even more alienated. English too iscommonly used by children to answer their grandparents even though they mayunderstand their mother tongue. Missing their homeland and lamenting at theerosion of social and cultural values these seniors also tune in to voice theiropinions. Responding to this topic several people draw attention to the positive aspects of living together or having their loved ones here.They claim these seniors bind the family together creating an atmosphere of tradition andculture, otherwise absent here.Children too learn the value of family whengrandparents live under the same roof. Taking offence at the topicseveral people admonish the host of the programme claiming that problems andgeneration gaps exist everywhere then why make an example of our own communitysince we actually take care of our own! Fair enough , but statistics thoughlimited, point otherwise. Faced with neglect,alienation and sometimes even abusethe seniors try to hide from social workers and doctors the facts fearingrepriasal for their children.We are a tight knit community. Sadly we are tightlipped too. Honour,family name and shame all play a role in extending andturning a blind eye to this problem.In India these seniors had theirown homes, pensions and their independence. The cold weather also makes itimpossible for seniors to access public transit. They depend on their childrenfor rides to the mall or places of worship.Financially too they must depend ontheir children since they are not eligible for any any old age security orsupplement unless they have lived here for ten years ,are over sixty five and alegal resident. The senior housing also has a long waiting list making theshelters the only option for them in emergency situations. Not every oneexperiences the same cultural divide or alienation. Compromising andunderstanding parents/grandparents empathise with the stressful and challengingnature of raising children here. They try to adjust and help. Grandchildren tooact as balm in making the transition bearable. Areas likePeel,Markham and others in Toronto have come up with non profit charitableorganisations which are non- political and non- religious, where seniors canmeet and interact.The India Rainbow community Services of Peel and the MarkhamSouth Asian Seniors centre ,just to name a few, support positive aging.For asmall fee they offer all day services that include health orientedseminars,English language classes,guided trips to the malls,job search workshopsetc. This is a positive step in addressing the needs of seniors who, afterraising their children in India or anyother place ,feel helpless and lost intheir golden years in a foreign land. "Why call them here if youcannot take care of them?" enquired some one over the air."Perhaps your kidsare older now and your parents have outlived their babysitting job?" Whateverthe reason they are here now. Very often the whole family is overseas and noone is there to look after them in their own country .This problem,like many others facing the South Asian diaspora , won’t just disappear.Wehave to address it by taking the bull by the horns, raising awareness andworking with social agencies to find practical and viable solutions.